Friday, February 14, 2014

A Dollop of Self-Love & Self-Acceptance this Valentine's Day

Photo by: katerha

Today, as I sit at my desk, thinking about what I should do differently to commemorate Valentine’s Day, or whether I really want to do anything special, my thoughts spin around the word ‘LOVE’. Hmm…teddy bears and hearts, greeting cards and flowers, romance and candlelit dinners and the shebang. Cute, but so not my cup of tea. (I’ve already written about the brand of love and romance I subscribe to.) But today, as the sky fills with heart-shaped thought bubbles and baskets with, long-stemmed roses, I think of a different kind of love. The kind of love that a lot of us, especially us mothers and women, push to the back of the kitchen cupboard. Self-love and self-acceptance. Cherishing and celebrating the people we are. Loving ourselves. Accepting ourselves, flaws, extra weight and all.

The acceptance is the difficult part, isn’t it? And it all starts from there. There’s always, and I mean always, something we do not like about ourselves. Five kilos of extra weight. A round tummy. A nose that’s too long. Chubby thighs. A loud laugh. The list is endless.

And it’s not always the physical aspects that we nag ourselves about. Intangible things creep into our life and tug at our self-confidence. The inability to be chatty with all and sundry. Not being able to juggle the various roles like an ace juggler at the circus. The need to sleep an extra hour rather than turning up at the laptop. That little thing we said that might have miffed someone. Our minds are made for multitasking but we also cram it with self-doubts, self-criticisms and guilt, each jostling for space, vying for our attention.

So, today, as the world celebrates St. Valentines’s Day with roses and hearts, I want to celebrate myself, for being me. For being exactly the kind of mother my baby son was meant to have. For being the kind of person I was born to be – mad, funny, brusque, loyal, moody, creative, impulsive. For having the kind of body that I have today – healthy, chubby with a dollop of post-pregnancy weight, strong, fit.   

For this day (and I hope the goodness of this spills over), I will give a chill pill to that voice in my head, to that little devil that sits on my shoulder pointing out all those not-so-nice-things about me and indulge in total self-acceptance.

Who wants to join me in raising a toast to themselves, in indulging in some self-love?


  1. Hey Chandana nice thought..

    Self love is at the very core of wellbeing,joy and to create and enjoy the kind of life you want. You cannot enjoy happiness if you are not at peace with yourself.

    If one looks at it from spiritual point of view then loving yourself is the only way to be ONE WITH GOD,
    then we realize that we ARE love. We are the spirit inside and nothing more.

    And from human point of view, the every relationship you have with someone is more or less copy of relationship you have with yourself. And we posses a physical body so needs feel good about it as well.

    So treating yourself with all the wonderful things u want in this world and loving yourself the way you are helps !!!!

    1. Neha, thank you for sharing your thoughts. What you mention is the core of self-love and self-acceptance....something we often fail to do.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. I always feel that being candid to your own self is the best form of being at peace. You have beautifully captured a very true feeling which every mother feels deep down but can’t express. Some mothers are even scared to admit that loving themselves is so very important


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