Tuesday, June 26, 2018

7 Fauji Wives / Military Spouses You Often Meet

by Tara-Aroha Kabir

Okay, so before I get on with this, let me just say that military spouses are like every other human being, and human beings are similar across the board – in the defence services, in the corporate sector, in villages, in towns. It’s just that whenever we’re part of a tightly-knit, you-know-everyone kind of community, we as people can have a very high impact on each other’s lives. Each person can become an influencer, letting her words, attitudes and actions impact the other lady’s life + the social dynamics, positively or negatively.

I’ve found that we spouses can generally fit into one or a combination of the following personality types.

Disclaimer: These personality types are found across the board – within the services and outside it. However, like I said, since each of us is an influencer in our own right in our tightly-knit communities, it’s easier to spot different personalities, especially if these impact our lives.

Disclaimer 2: Any resemblance to people living or dead is un-intentional and pure coincidence.

So, here are some of the military spouses who make up the social fabric of our filled-with-pride service life:

The warm-helpful-kind spouse: It’s these ladies, who actually make life in the services what it’s known for – warmth and camaraderie. These are the women who’ll be the first to drop in with a hot-case of home food when you move into your service quarters, be there for you when your husband is deployed, and willing to help you out when you’re stuck in the doldrums. These women are the foundations of a good fauji spouse life. They make your time and their time at any base happy and a tad easy.

The I’m-born- for-this-life spouse: These ladies know how to rock-and-roll with everything that the services life throws their way. Multiple postings, 101 house shiftings, endless parties and beerings, welfare meets and more welfare meets – you name it and they know how to fit right in with a charming smile, a helping hand and oodles of gumption. Spotty internet connections, far too many social commitments or even lack of job opportunities do not faze them out, and they settle into every fauji situation + station like Eskimos in the snow. Always armed with the right attitude and the perfect wardrobe for any occasion, these fauji wives/military spouses are a barrel-full of fun to be around.

The I-like-you-but-also-your-husband’s-position spouse: These are friendly and fun women, who can also be good friends, provided your hubby is somewhere important on the social ladder (which also puts you in a kind of important position in the pecking order). You can count on them, hang out with them and even have a good time with them – but just don’t expect to be BFFs once your husband gets posted out of his chair. As long as you don’t have expectations of a friendship beyond the station border and position tenure, you’re alright.

The I-wear-the-ranks spouse: Every now and then, you do come across these military spouses. In reality, it’s the husbands of these ladies who get the promotion, but in all practicality, it’s these boss ladies who wear the ranks & throw their weight around.  Right from what goes on whose AR (something like an annual assessment of an officer that determines his career path), when an officer’s leave needs to be sanctioned or cancelled, what other ladies need to wear at a party (like maybe the boss lady’s fav color) to even what kind of jobs the junior ladies need to hold or relinquish, this boss lady has a say in everything. And God forbid, if anything goes amiss – you’ll sure have to pay for your mistake (if not you, then your husband via his AR)!

The spotlight-is-on-me spouse: Again, not every boss’s wife is an aspiring spotlight-seeking diva, but then once in a while, a boss lady decides to keep the goodness all for herself i.e. the spotlight needs to always be on her and only her.  God help you if you start making friends of your own with others or if you’re caught sharing a joke with another – they’ll find honey-sweet ways to get their point across and make sure you’re put in your place (that’s in the shadows).

 The ears-to-the-ground spouse: These spouses do enjoy more than a fair spot of gossip (I’ve seen gossipers in corporate circles too and the damage they cause is irreparable). With all the social interaction that happens in the defence services, it’s easy enough to observe others, exchange views & news, and even spin some made-up gossip, if that’s what someone wishes to do. However, whenever a spark of gossip is released into the social milieu of the services, it spreads like wild fire, what with tight social circles and quiet bases in the back-of-beyond. It burns the subjects of these stories and sometimes even the gossip-spreaders, but unfortunately, those who enjoy spreading all that fake news, thrive on this drama.  

The live-and-let-live spouse: They are quieter and quite content within their homes & family circle. They are friendly, will lend a helping hand wherever needed and are quite polite (unless you’re stepping on their toes intentionally). They enjoy some of the social engagements that come with the fauji life, but also like to spend a chunk of their time building something of their own – a project or a biz or a career. They may not be very great at partying or social chit-chat or even diplomacy, but all in all they’re okay people ‘coz they’ll give you your space and guard their own bit too.

With that said, I'll end my piece here. See you next time.

About Tara: She has far too many loves - beekeeping, pottery, words, stories and chocolate cake. Tara scribbles poetry & stories, bakes cakes when a craving strikes and says the first thing that comes to her mind. She's also a military spouse (yes, she fits into the above categories too!), people watcher, social (+ media) recluse, mom and wannabe Master Gardener.

#faujiwife #milspouse #militaryspouse #personalitytypes 

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