I'm back for good

Hello, you guys! You must have thought I had shut shop and disappeared into the wispy blue skies of cyber space. I don’t blame you for thinking so. I have been away for the longest of time. And I owe you a reason.

image credit: david ragusa

The back story: I had signed up for my very first Yoga Teacher’s Training with Aura Wellness Center, a yoga school that gives online and onsite teacher training. At that time, my son was a little over a year old. So a lot of my yoga practice and study sessions would involve him climbing over me and scuttling under me as I pretzeled myself into the Downward Dog, the Bridge Pose or some of my other favorite poses. I’d try to sneak in a few pages of study while he napped, very often with him napping on me.

My progress was slow and before I could realize, I had come upon the finish line of the course. That’s when I grabbed whatever leisure time I had and spun it into my study time. And so, blogging was set aside for a while, a long while actually.

But here I am. Back for good. And with a special announcement: I am a Certified Yoga Teacher now. Yayyy!!!! And I passed my written as well as practical exams with High Honors! Yummy…these little milestones and achievements are sweet!

Now, I’m hoping to teach yoga classes in my community, and maybe, also take a few classes in the gyms out in town.

Along with that, I’m hoping to make this a very creative year. As 2015 handed over its torch to 2016, as firecrackers lit up the sky at the strike of 12, as time offered us another gift of fresh beginnings, this little word came floating by. CREATIVE.

I’ve never woven a year around a word, but this one seemed just right. After over 2.5 years of not painting much or creating much, this word with its abundance of possibilities makes me want to explore the various ways I can be creative. The idea is to create instead of planning a project and then getting daunted by the time involved.

Here are some of the things I want to do to honor this word:

Knit (I am an amateur knitter and scarves are the only thing I seem to knit. But I enjoy the process of sitting back and looping yarn around a pair of needles.)

Crochet (This is on my want-to-learn list.)

Embroider (Am planning to embroider a set of silk cushion covers.)

Sew (This one is a lofty goal, but am planning to use several online resources to crack this code.)

Create collages (With canvas and paper, my own drawings and coloring book cutouts.)

Fill up more coloring books.

Draw a series of posters featuring Jojo, my curly-haired girls.

Be more spontaneous in trying new creative adventures.

What is your word for 2016?

Thrive by letting go of comparisons and toxic load

I’m 33 years old, and in all these years, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been compared to someone else. Someone, who as per the person comparing, is better than me, brighter than me, smarter than me, friendlier than me, calmer than me. Someone who emails more/calls less or more/ watsapps or doesn’t/is a better friend/ more balanced/ far more wiser.

That someone, who like any of us has his/her own set of strengths but also his/her own satchel of weaknesses, but in that golden haze of comparison takes on the halo of an angel and the magic of a gnome. That someone(s) who is (are) just as different from me than a butterfly from a caterpillar, than chalk from cheese, than a dog from a cat.

So, how do these comparisons affect me? Well, till a handful of years ago, these comparisons were like poison-edged darts that not only split open my skin, but also the metaphorical wounds that were bloody and deep. They made me feel like I shouldn’t ever have been born. That I’d rather be someone else than me. That really, if the person making the comparison said so, then I really must be a mutant, with more flaws than the craters on the moon.  That I wasn’t as good as others. Or rather, good enough.

I felt small and humiliated. Weak and insufficient. But most of all, I felt guilty. I was filled with a kind of guilt that’s viscous and sticky like honey. That kind of guilt that makes you want to shed your own skin and be someone else totally. That kind of guilt that you don’t know how to get over.

I plotted and planned of ways to morph myself into that someone that others were always comparing me to. I wondered how I could, like a chameleon, take on the golden qualities of those people. Of how I could be anyone but me.

But not anymore.

The comparisons still flock my way, every now and then, though a little less than more.

I still seem insufficient to some. But I don’t let them undermine who I am. Not anymore. I don’t let those casually flung statements and candy-wrapped comparisons cut me up like they used to.

Yes, they still sting. They still remind me of the reams of comparisons that tied me up in tight knots once upon a time. But now, I let them go.

Now, after all these years of walking through fire and letting my inner steel emerge, I let those who compare go and I let the comparisons go. After almost a decade of living with a partner, who accepts me totally for who I am, who never judges me or loads me up with his expectations, I’ve let the wounds heal and I’ve learnt to be in my own skin. And not just be, but flourish and nurture everything that makes me who I am.

Nothing and nobody, I’ve realized, is worth that much of pain and self doubt and toxicity. 

If someone can’t accept me (or you) for who I am or how I am, when in all honesty, I’m accepting them for who they are with their scars and eccentricities, then, it’s really not worth trying. There are so many more positive things to aspire for in this life of ours that crowding them with someone else’s expectations is so not worth our time. It’s so not worth our effort, and so not good for our soul.

If you enjoyed reading this post, and would like to join my tribe, here's where you can head to: the Facebook Page.

#thrive

A box of books & a simple way you can help!

Hello there! I hope you’ve had a good week. I’ve finally got my sliver of time at the laptop while the little boy’s out on a car ride with his dad.

So picking up where we left off last week, let me just fill you up on an update on the books for underprivileged children project. I’ve been talking to people around, thinking things over. And this is what’s come out of this week’s think through and brainstorming: a name for the project and a small tweak.

Image credit: Image Fiesta

The tweak is this: If you remember, last week I’d mentioned that I’m trying to set up a reading room in my garage; a place where underprivileged kids can assemble five times a week, for an hour or two to read and flip through storybooks. But because I live at a military base where there are a myriad of rules and regulations, and an equally long list of do’s and don’ts, the ‘reading room’ terminology may just drag the whole project down.

So, instead, I’d like to shape this idea into a more portable, more doable project. Instead of a reading room, this will be a box of books. A wooden box filled with gently used children’s books, which will be brought out every weekend for an hour or two for all those kids who’d like to step into the world of stories. There’ll also be a storytelling session or two, and art workshops every other weekend (all for Free!).

Image credit: Scholastic

And this brings us to the name for the project: Box of Books! Three little words that roll out the story of what this initiative is all about. A weekend treat. A box filled with stories. Magic worlds within the covers of a books. A portable library.  

Whatd’ya think?

And I’ll be very grateful for any of you, who donate their gently-used children’s books and magazines to fill up this box. Storybooks, picture books, alphabet books, children’s magazines and travel magazines are all welcome and will find a place in the box and in the hands of eager little children.

Here’s what we need, if you’d like to help.

Please mail be at chandanabanerjee30@gmail.com or reach me at my Facebook page, if you’d like to send a few books over.

Thank you!

#booksforkids #bookbox #boxofbooks

Books, kids and a call for help!

In my last post, I mentioned that I’ve been thinking of ways to help others. With my time, resources and ideas. With a portion of my finances.

And the whole thing, this embryo of an idea has blossomed into a little project. A project to make a tiny bit of difference to the lives of the children in a locality in Adampur, Punjab. For now, let me lay out Part A of this project.

I am starting a Reading Room for underprivileged children right in my garage. With books that I have bought and with books that I hope you will be able to send over. Used books. Well-loved books. New books. Books that your children have loved and read and thumbed through several times. Books that have been gathering dust on your shelf. Books that may land up in the junk some day. Books that you may want to buy and send over for these kids (I can send a list).

I’m looking for storybooks and picture books. In English and Hindi. Second-hand encyclopedias and comic books. Amar Chitra Kathas, Champak and Chandama magazines. Old issues of travel magazines (Outlook Traveller, Lonely Planet, to name a few). All of these will be very welcome in this little reading room.

The children who’ll come here will be anywhere between 5 years of age to 13 years of age. All of these are children who go to schools but do not have the spare cash to spend on storybooks – a world that’s still elusive and out-of-reach for them. Their mothers work as domestic helps and their fathers as gardeners, rickshaw drivers, laborers.

The Reading Room will be open for 5 days a week, an hour in the evenings on school days, and more hours over the weekends and school holidays. It’ll be a place where they can look at bright storybooks and thumb through stories. We’ll also have art and theatre workshops in the Reading Room during school holidays.

But for right now, we are looking for books to place on the shelves of the reading room.

Image credit: Bernie's Book Bank

If you’d like to help (and I hope you will!), this is what you can do:

Send us picture books and storybooks that your kids have outgrown

Send us second-hand encyclopedias and atlases

Send us comic books (like Amar Chitra Katha) and children’s magazines (Champak, Chandamama)

Buy a few new children’s books (I can provide a list if you like) and send it over

Gift a children’s magazine subscription

Send us your old issues if travel magazines

Help spread the word by texting/emailing/telling your friends about this Reading Room project.

*Reading material can be in English or Hindi.

Please email me at chandanabanerjee30@gmail.com if you want to help send books for this Reading Room.

If you want to reach me on Facebook, please head over here.

#readingroom #donatebook #booksforkids #bookbank